JOKES

Laloo snt his BioData 2 apply 4 post in Microsoft USA.
Few days l8r he got this reply:
"""Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,You do not meet our requirements.Please do not send any further correspondence.No phone call shall be entertained.ThanksBill Gates

Laloo prasad jumped wid joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference-"Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."Every1 was delighted.

He continued "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhi karunga.

"""Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad -Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyyaYou do not meet -aap to miltay hee naheen hoour requirement -humko to zaroorat haiPlease do not send any furthur correspondance -ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat naheeNo phone call -phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee haishall be entertained -bahut khaatirdaari kee jayegiThanks -aapkaa bahut dhanyavadBill Gates -Tohar Bill Gate """


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MARRIAGE IS NOT A WORD.IT IS A SENTENCE - a LIFE SENTENCE
MARRIAGE is very much like a VIOLIN ;After the sweet music is over , the strings are attached
MARRIAGE is LOVE , LOVE is blind.$o ,marriage is an instituition for the blind
MARRIAGE is an instituition in which a man loses ahis Bachelor's Degree & the woman gets her Masters
MARRIAGE is a thing which puts a RING on A Woman's Finger & two under the MAN'S EYE !!!
MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE is just another word for a work permit.
MARRIAGE is not just having a W.I.F.E.,but also Worries Inherited For Ever


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A Haryanvi once applied to a medical college.Needless to say, he never made it.You know why??
Bcoz this is how he defined the medical terms in the exams
1. Anti-Body --> Against Everyone
2. Artery --> The study of fine paintings
3. Benign --> Cheerful and kindly
4. Bowel --> Letters like a,e,i,o and u
5. Cat Scan --> Searching for a lost Kitten
6. Chronic --> Neck of crow
7. Coma --> Punctuation mark
8. Bacteria --> Back door to a Cafeteria
9. Cortisone --> Area around local court-house
10. Cyst --> Short for Sister
11. Diagnosis --> Person with a slanted nose
12. Gall bladder --> Bladder in a girl


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PEOPLE USUALLY ASK QUESTIONS IN VERY OBVIOUS SITUATIONS AND GET SOME STUPID EQUALLY STUPID ANSWERS

1.Situation : WHEN you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair.
Stupid Q : Heyya , you have had a haircut ??
Answer : Nope ,its Autumn and I am shedding . . . ..

2.Situation : WHEN you get woken up at Mid-night by a phone call.
Stupid Q : Sorry , but were you sleeping ??
Answer : No , I was waiting

3.Situation : AT arestaurant , When you ask a waiter . . .
Stupid Q : Is this .....(some dish) good??
Answer : No, its terrible and made of adulterated material. We occasionally SPIT in it also. .

4.Situation : You are smoking a ciagrette and a cute woman asks-
Stupid Q : Oh , so you are smoking??
Answer : Nope!, Its a miracle . . .it was chalk and now its in Flames . . .!!

5.Situation : When a friend announces her wedding , and you ask . .
Stupid Q : Is this guy you marrying good??
Answer : NO, he's miserable ,wife-beating ,insensitive lout, . . .its just the money. .

6.Situation : At family get together,when some distant aunt meets you after years . .
Stupid Q : Munna, Chikkoo, you have become so big!
Answer : WELL , you have not particularly shrunk yourself.


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